Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I’ve noticed that most cashiers I encounter don’t smile, and often don’t even make eye contact with me. It’s really disturbing, especially in the Midwest, where people are pretty loosey-goosey with their smiles.
At first I thought it was me. Like maybe I was being annoying or insulting without realizing it. But then I started taking a non-scientific poll among my workmates and friends, and they’ve noticed it too.
What is the problem? Does being a cashier make you aangry and depressed, or do angry depressed people become cashiers? I was a cashier for a while after college, and I thought it was fine, but you know that was almost ten years ago. Also I had a manager who would cut your smoke breaks short if you weren’t polite to the customer. What happened to managers like that?
Love,
Concerned Consumer
Dear Concerned Consumer,
I actually just sent an email to the Marshall’s customer service address complaining about their cashiers. At the store downtown, no one will look at my face. The stare at my neck and talk to each other about when their next break is and how excited they’ll be to get off of work. I’m not asking that people be ecstatic to ring up my three pack of Goldtoes, but can’t you bitch about it in the break room like normal people?
I think job applications should include the question: “Do you despise the public?” If you answer yes, maybe they could put you in the stock room instead of encouraging you to sneer at people from behind the counter. I don’t want to beat a dead horse, but these kinds of encounters, which seem to have become the norm, are really making me rethink being a participating member of society.
I watched this show recently called “I Eat 33,000 Calories a Day” and I found it pretty appealing. I know the show was supposed to be a warning that you can be addicted to food, but I felt like it was actually offering quite an interesting solution to several of my problems:
1. You can’t work once you reach a certain girth
2. People stop asking you to sign up for the softball team.
3. Your family and remaining friends have to do you grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning for you.
4. You can gradually go from regular cloths to muumuus to just a sheet that covers the lower half of your body.
I think that food addict beats drug addict any day of the week because less people understand the problem, so you can probably be enabled for much longer. I’d make a point of eating fruits and vegetables too, to keep people off the trail for a while.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
