Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I live alone with my wonderful dog Daisy. We have a great relationship most of the time. The thing is I’ve gained a lot of weight over the past year and a half and I’m starting to feel like Daisy is judging me. Like if I disrobe for a shower she’ll sort of sneer at my now-fat ass. Or she’ll act really annoyed if I roll over in bed and take up some of her space.
I don’t know if I’m acting like a freak, but it seems possible that my dog is disgusted with my weight gain. It makes me really sad because I always felt like she was the one person in my life who didn’t care if I wore clean clothes or washed my hair- like she really just loved me unconditionally.
With Worry,
Possibly Projecting
Dear Possibly Projecting,
You are definitely projecting. Dogs don’t care if you’re fat, ugly, unemployed or living with your parents. That’s why lots of times you see total douchebags with great dogs. Besides helping humans hunt, I think it’s possible that dogs were domesticated for their ability to provide companionship to humans who would otherwise be shunned from their social group. Why do you think hippies always have dogs with them?
Please don’t make your dog a victim of your neurosis. Join Weight Watchers and consulting a shrink for the best way to be a normal person. It takes a lot of work but the pay off for you and your canine companion will be huge.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
