Monday, April 27th

Dear Poor Lucky Me,

I’ve been going to the gym for about three weeks, and having a nice time.  I’m starting to get very fit and really enjoy myself.  The problem is I’ve become obsessed with a certain kind of woman at my gym.  The type is very thin, very made up, adorned with a designer hand bag and always standing around with said hand bag.

Who are these women?  What is their problem?  Why won’t they use a locker?

Yours Truly,

Flexed and Perplexed

Dear Flexed,

I think those women probably have a lot of time on their hands and a lot of pressure to look hot to keep their Moneybags’ interest.  If their Moneybags get bored the women get left behind for a younger, skankier girl who’s more willing to do the work to stay in the relationship.  It’s not exactly their fault that they act like complete assholes, because they’ve got a lot to worry about.  Well, really just one thing: themselves.  But worrying about oneself when one is a hot young ho can be very time consuming.  Don’t you watch The Girls Next Door?

You see, all jobs are hard.  You think your job is hard because you have to show up every day and do stuff.  You probably have to go to meeting and file reports and stuff. Those women at the gym also have very demanding careers, they just look different.  They have to be coiffed and waxed and painted and be constantly vigilant for signs of younger girls encroaching on their territory.  It’s very exhausting and time consuming.  Do you have any idea what its like to get a bikini wax?  If you do, multiply that horror by 100 because those girls at your gym have to get Brazilian Bikini waxes.  That’s when they go at all the nooks and crannies of the front and back.  So, have a little sympathy for god’s sake.

Sincerely,

Poor Lucky Me

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