Summer Guzzling

Dear Poor Lucky Me,
With the arrival of our short summer in Chicago, I have to revisit a perennial problem: day drinking.

 

I am so easily convinced to order cocktails at brunch, lunch, the common daytime sporting event, on a friend’s boat, from a homeless guy’s 40, etc etc etc.  There is just something about warm weather that makes me so thirsty.

 

It’s not that I think there’s anything wrong with being drunk throughout the day, it’s just that I seem to get much MUCH drunker when it’s light out.  And in the summer it’s light until 9 sometimes!

 

Is there a home remedy that I don’t know about?  Some secret solution to not being shit hammered after two mid-day Chardonnays?

 

Please hurry, it’s almost lunchtime and it’s 75 degrees out.

 

Signed,
A Lush

 

Dear A Lush,

You are in luck- I do have a home remedy to cure you! 

 

No bout of day drinking can defeat the sobering affects of a 1000+ calorie burrito.  In a pinch you can go to Chipotle, but the Poor Lucky Me staffer prefer the local taqueria. 

 

The important thing is to get as much rice, beans, cheese and hot sauce in your gut as soon as possible.  Even if you got drunk at lunch, you still should consider the burrito remedy.  It’s more like medicine than food, and will allow you to drink comfortably for several more hours. 

 

Do not be fooled into thinking that tacos or quesadillas can be substituted for the giant burritos.  Alternative foods may have a drastic and undesired outpouring from the orifices. 

 

I hope this tip helps you continue to enjoy our short but glorious summer!

 

Sincerely,

Poor Lucky Me

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