The Land Of Choices and Laziness

I was recently wooed by cool packaging and purchased a bottle of self-foaming hand soap. 


I didn’t think about the implications of the technology, I was too mesmerized by the scent (meadow lavender) and the shape of the bottle (thin, tapered, elegant). 


When I got home and tried to wash my hands, I realized I actually don’t understand why soap would foam itself.  It doesn’t seem to have the same instructions as regular soap. 


For example: with regular soap, I wet my hands, soap up, foam up, rinse.  With the pre-foamed soap, I either have to use three times as much or apply it dry. 


Is that what we’re supposed to be doing?  Is dry application considered an improvement?  I guess you use slightly less water.  Maybe this is the preferred form of soap in more arid regions of the world. 


I naturally lean towards conspiracy theories of the “They’re out to get me” nature.  So along those lines, I think that the self-foaming soap was invented to add more choices in the supermarket aisle, thus driving me to an even higher frenzy when I try and buy things. 


I usually end up having a minor nervous breakdown in the laundry detergent aisle.  I try and decide before I go what items I’ll buy- but I never count on options like High Efficiency Tide or Low Fat Cheese or Self Foaming Soap.


I’m also concerned that people may actually be too lazy to make their own suds.  Has the consumer has been clamoring for an easier way to wash their hands, and the soap company met their demands? 


Maybe the future of America will be a future of fat people lying on the ground, cleaning themselves with pre-made foam and dry shampoo and squirting high calorie food into their mouths from a toothpaste tube-like instrument.  Like French Fry paste, and Cheeseburger paste and Arby’s Roast Beef paste. 


I hope they make an Ice Cream Cake paste.

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  1. Mr. G says:

    I have a similar dilema when it comes to spray deodorant. Why does it spray like that? Whenever I’m around someone using the spray, some ends up in my mouth. Is this safe? I hardly ever eat the stick variety, so why is it ok to “eat” the spray type?

    • Poor Lucky Me says:

      Interesting question Mr. G. I think the spray deodorant is a reminder of simpler times. No one needs to have their antiperspirant in spray form, but it reminds you of 8th grade gym class. It’s like those old fashioned telephones you can buy to get nostalgic every time a bill collector or solicitor calls. Keep up the good work on not eating your toiletries!

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