Calling yourself self-conscious is just a nice way to tell people you are judgmental. It might not be obvious unless you’ve watched as much TV as I have, but it makes a lot of sense. You are nervous about the way you look or sound because you think that people are carefully tracking your progress- like you do with other people.
I don’t mean this in a mean way, but people actually don’t care that much about you. Don’t think of it as a bad thing, think of it as liberating. Are you wearing one brown sock and one black sock? No one will notice! Tell a lame joke at a cocktail party? No one was really listening! Sure, there are a few people around you who are noting your flaws, but you deserve it because you are a probably a hypercritical freak.
You probably haven’t made the connection before because you were busy sneering at fat people and calculating the cost of your upcoming plastic surgeries. You would enjoy life so much more if you stopped freaking about about what people think of you and just be cool. No one said it’s easy, but wouldn’t you rather be the naked guy in the locker room than the guy comparing himself to the naked guy in the locker room?
I don’t want to turn this into something about me, but the truth is that your self-consciousness is making me uncomfortable. I feel like you’re forcing me to stare at your bald spot or your scab. I don’t want to see that shit!
People should go out of their way not to make me upset in any way.
