Dear Poor Lucky Me,
What would you do if you really wanted to bitch some one out but felt like doing so would be a violation of your proper British manners? I mean I’m not British but I watch a lot of BBC.
There’s this girl in my condo association who I really really hate.
She sleeps or stares at her Blackberry through out the whole meeting, then says “Huh” when anyone asks her opinion.
I want to kick her in the back. It’d probably be best to just have words with her, but what do I say?
Signed,
Cheerio
Dear Cheerio,
I also listened to the Ricky Gervais podcasts and he just says mean stuff right to people’s face. I guess you could try that, but it’s probably best left to professionals.
I’m pretty sure if you were British you would just make snide comments about the offending Blackberrier and everyone would laugh and sneer under they put their phone away. That’s the kind of think that Hugh Grant does, and he’s English, so it makes sense.
You know I was thinking about Ricky Gervais the other day actually. I think he’s really funny and I love the British Office (all smart people are supposed to like the British version better than the American, but it is acceptable to say you like the American one “but they are totally different in tone”) but I’m beginning to think that Gervais is quite a bit of a prick. Wouldn’t you agree? Maybe I’m delicate but I think he’s really very vicious sometimes. Actually, it’s not that surprising, because he plays David Brent so well there’s no way he’s not at least a little bit of a turd in real life.
Anyway, I had a professor in college who carried a bell with him while he lectured. He’d wait until the second half of the class before walking to the back of the lecture hall and ringing the hell out of the bell right in some one’s ear. It was sort of a dick move, but it did freak people out. I don’t know, why don’t you just pull the girl aside and say “I’ve noticed your not into the condo association meetings, why don’t you take of the gardening (or whatever) in exchange for not having to come?”
That’s what always drives me close to the edge; staring at people’s damn faces while they’re pissing me off.
Then at least you don’t have to stare at her face.
Good luck!
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
