My apartment building is situated between Michigan Avenue, The AMC movie Theater and Navy Pier. It’s like the Tourist Bermuda Triangle with crappy weather and a lot of fat people.
Really it’s a fun place to live- it’s always lively and feels pretty safe. I like giving people directions because it gives me a sense of purpose and accomplishment even if I spend the rest of the day drooling on my couch.
The thing is, I’ve noticed a strange phenomenon since the snow melted. There is garbage everywhere. I’m not talking about the odd candy wrapper or coke can, I’m taking about big ticket items. There are garbage cans every 25 feet, but that doesn’t stop the fascinating collection of waste on the side walks.
Here is an unexaggerated list of garbage I saw outside of my back door this weekend:
1. A pile of chicken bones (this is a frequent sight in my neighborhood. Who is eating chicken wings while walking?)
2. A 12 pack of empty Modelo bottles (this must be people drinking in their car before a movie right?)
3. Broken baby sized sunglasses (a nice lesson to teach your child: if it’s broken, throw it on the ground! There are more where that came from- China)
4. An empty bottle of Bellows Gin
5. Three 40′s in paper bags
6. An empty carton of Capri Ultra Slims (Presumably some one had a carton of smokes in their purse, finished the last pack and threw the carton on the sidewalk?)
7. A mangled umbrella
8. An empty skull and crossbones dime bag
9. 15 pounds of dog poo (an approximation)
I’m considering setting up a hidden camera to see who is littering like it’s 1955 and what kind of deliberation they go through before chucking their empty gin bottles. Maybe people think that being on vacation means being on vacation from all the restraints of living in a society- including using garbage cans.
Rest assured, I will continue to examine and report on this interesting aspect of the Tourist Bermuda Triangle. My next step will be hiding behind parked cars and jumping out to confront people who toss their White Castle boxes on the ground.
