Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I work in a small office building that is home to a variety of businesses, and one floor below our offices is a pole dancing school .
For several hours a day I hear thumping music from their classes, and all day long beautiful women walk in and out of their offices. What is the attraction to pole dancing classes? There can’t be that many women who want to be strippers in my city.
Also, one of my local watering holes has a small room off to the side with a dance pole. When I queried the bartender she told me that mainly women use it, but late night a lot of drunk guys give it a whirl.
What gives? Am I missing out on something?
Signed,
Private Dancer
Dear Private Dancer,
Plus stupid Carmen Electra ran out of annoying things to do a few years ago and started a stripping for exercise fad that has haunted the tiny part of normal society ever since (as evidenced by the class in your office building and pole in your bar).
Pole dancing makes people feel sexy and naughty and sort of athletic. They never stop to think about how many other sets of genitals have squeaked up and down that pole, covered at most by millimeters of fabric.
Take it from me: sometimes you think you’re being funny or sexy or cool. Then some one videotapes it and shows it to you. And you realized that you actually look like a total turd who’s trying to be funny or sexy or cool.
I’m begging you to stay away from the pole in the bar you go to. But it’s ok to hang around the doorway to that class. You might be able to pick up some freshly sexified chicks.
Sincerely,
Let me assure you that there are more women in your city who secretly want to be strippers than you can ever imagine. While the internet is an incredible tool for communicating, researching, and entertaining, the proliferation of amateur porn has changed everything.
Poor Lucky Me
