Prison Camp: Practical Knowlege for Tough Economic Times – Thursday June 18

Hello, and thank you for inquiring into Prison Camp!


Our two week retreat in the upper Upper Peninsula will prepare you for any real world prison situation that you might encounter.


In these tough economic times, one can’t be sure what’s around the corner; armed robbery, securities fraud, drug dealing, prostitution.  Any number of crimes might be tried on for size to help supplement one’s dwindling income or unemployment check. Because the chances of an amateur criminal not getting caught are so slim, doesn’t it make sense to arm yourself (no pun intended!) with practical knowledge that can help you survive- even escape- your prison sentence?


Prison Camp was founded in September 2008 by Chuckles D.*, Ross Fineberg, and Fat Baby Johnson.  All three have had extensive experience in the justice system, and wanted to find a way to share their knowledge with the inevitable next wave of petty, violent, and white collar criminals.


*Please note that we ask you not to make direct eye contact with Chuckles for your own safety.


During your two week stay you will learn such life saving skills as:

How to make a shank out of a toothbrush.

What gang to join based on your ethnicity and penchant towards violence

How to dig a tunnel with a plastic spoon

How to keep your street clothes dry while swimming through a culvert or sewer

Shower safety

In-cell fermentation techniques

In-cell tattoo techniques

How to give yourself a nickname that doesn’t make you sound like a bitch

And so much more!


The last day of camp will be a mock prison yard fight.  You will be able to put your new skill to work!  The winning gang will be treated to a banquet and a list of unscrupulous lawyers who are awaiting your call for help.  Or to assist in facilitating an identity change.  Scalding one’s finger prints off will be a small additional charge.


We are so looking forward to spending time with you this summer, and hope you’ll call or email with any questions!

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  1. Rooster says:

    i think this is a wonderful new brilliant idea whose time has come. just think what martha and bernie could have done with this preparation before their yard walks. this is helpful to know about as i am planning a retreat for my company this summer. this is perfect for relaxation and trust building. question: what out door activities are they for group participation?

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