Sexy Legs Endanger Squirrel – Thusday June 25

Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I work at a reputable law firm in a big city. Most of the people dress like regular business people…but there’s one attorney here who dresses like a whore. A classy whore, but a whore just the same.


The weirdest part is that she has very different looks. For instance, earlier this week I think she was dressed as one of the backup singers from that Robert Palmer video- slicked back hair, lipstick and all.


Today she’s wearing a skirt that is at least 3 inches above her knee, possibly more and I’m not positive you can’t see her cooch when she sits down.
Don’t get me wrong, I’d kill a squirrel for her legs, but still!


Am I uptight or is this lady desperate for attention?


Nostalgic for a Little Modesty


Dear Nostalgic,


I think that your uptightedness and her need for attention are mutually exclusive. Don’t doubt your instincts- it’s ok to be disgusted by a professional vagina viewing threat. We all deserve the reasonable expectation that we won’t be prompted to dwell on our co-workers’ genitalia throughout the day. This woman has violated your brain’s sexy zone and for that she should be reviled and punished in a passive aggressive way.


Whenever you have dealings with her stare at her legs. Leave your mouth open and take long pauses before answering her. This is not sexual harassment as long as you don’t say anything about her legs and be sure to stand at least six feet away at all times. If she tries to walk closer to you, put up your hands in alarm and shake your head. Try adding a horrified look.


If the prostittorney asks you what’s wrong, you can tell her that you admire her fashion sense of adventure but are occasionally made uncomfortable by her choices. She’ll be totally offended and probably won’t change, but sometimes you just have to tell people the truth.


Poor Lucky Me

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  1. david e. kelley says:

    maybe she’s watching too many ali mcbeal re-runs?

    • Poor Lucky Me says:

      Good thinking, but Ali McBeal was so skinny her short skirts were more likely to conjure up images of starving Africans that sexy-times.

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