Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I recently read an article in the Suntimes about a postal worker who rented a storage locker and stuffed it with the mail she was supposed to deliver. I feel like it would take a decent amount of time to bring the mail to the locker and those things aren’t cheap to rent- why not just go ahead and deliver it?
My mailman rarely gets the whole delivery right- my mailbox is usually stuffed with my neighbor’s mail, or I’ll get items ten days after they were sent. So, what’s the big deal? Why didn’t she just do a shoddy job like everyone else in America? No one is demanding perfection.
Additionally, I once heard that 10% of storage units contain a dead body. What do you think about that?
Best,
It’s All About Trying, Not Succeeding
Dear Not Succeeding,
Hiding your work under piles, in drawers, or in storage units might seem like it requires as much effort as just doing it. However, doing anything other than your actual work load is more satisfying and more fun. The sticking-it-to-the-man factor also creates unmeasurable joy in most people. It’s called “clogging the system” and even if one knows one will get caught it sure beats filling out your expense reports or time sheets. The end will come about in a fantastic revelation of your misdeeds, freedom from the hated job, and an impressive story to tell for the rest of your life.
It’s not about job performance anxiety, it’s about taking passive aggression to new, untested levels.
I happen to have extensive knowledge about what happens in storage units. After college I lived in a climate controlled storage locker for about 18 months. I usually tell people that I was down on my luck blah blah out of options, but the truth is- it was glorious. $150 got me about 100 square feet in a decent neighborhood. Sure, I had to use a bucket as a toilet and had to sneak in and out past the watchman, but I was also able to put off finding a “career” for a long time. No utilities, no refrigerator, no possibility of having friends over…sigh.
The biggest drawback was the constant threat of bumping into one of the other semi-residents or frequent users of the storage units. These people were generally drug addicts or obvious murderers. Eventually the scarily pungent odors coming from unit 507 finally drove me to find more mainstream living arrangements. While I don’t know the actual percentage of storage lockers that contain dead bodies, but I do know that the lack of supervision and strong locks make it a little too easy to store…perishable items. And weed growing operations, because you can hook up electricity pretty easy with an extension cord.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
