At A Loss For Words – Wednesday July 22

Dear Poor Lucky Me,


Can you suggest some interesting topics to discuss at cocktail parties? I’m rather shy and often myself standing around with nothing to say. Inevitably I get stuck in some awful conversation about people’s children because I don’t have any material to change the subject.


A few bullet points would really come in handy.


With Great Affection,



Dear Speechless,


As a semi-professional party goer, I can advise you on conversation techniques and topics with authority.  The trick is to find things that you can bring up and give other guests an opportunity to take the topic and run with it. 


You can interject with a few witticisms, but the pressure is off to stand around telling jokes all night.  Here’s are some subjects that I’ve had a lot of success with lately:


-Oprah sucks


-Pornography is so much more violent than it used to be.


-Recycling is just a scam perpetrated by the waste corporations to get free materials to make more garbage, and everyone knows it.


-Why do we enthusiastically eat pigs and cows but not dogs?  If you could teach a cow or a pig a few tricks would you still think they were delicious?


-Reality TV is really good for society, and is a useful way to discover talented people.  Like Spencer Pratt.


-Bernie Madoff is probably a really nice guy and is just misunderstood.


If you can use these topics and come up with a few of your own, you’ll never be bored at a party again.  You may not get invited back to people’s homes if you say Oprah sucks, but can’t your social life be a bit of a burden anyway?



Poor Lucky Me

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