The Diversity of Douche Bags – Monday July 20

Dear Poor Lucky Me


I just saw a Gillette ad in a magazine that shows Tiger Woods balancing a Gillette razor on his finger.


Is it racist to think Tiger Woods is a douche bag?




Dear Unsure,


I commend your sensitivity and desire to explore your reactions to different images in the media. You may rest easy knowing that douche-baggery spans all races and religions.


I don’t exactly know what Tiger Wood’s problem is- I would think that dominating the entire sport of golf would provide him with plenty of self-esteem, money, and attention. Apparently, the glory is not enough to keep him from being a spokesperson for tons of stupid crap.


I can’t relate since every time I manage to put a stamp on an envelope and mail it I go out for a celebratory dinner. One time I found a clean pair of jeans in my drawer and took the day off from work as a reward. If I won any kind of accolades in any sport I would probably immediately retire and eat and drink until I qualified for bariatric living products. I certainly wouldn’t spend my free time hawking watches and minivans.


I have a weird feeling that Tiger Woods isn’t a real person. Sometimes he looks like a robot or a computer generated composite of what a wholesome athlete/celebrity should look like. How DOES he balance that razor on his finger? I’ve only seen magicians pull stuff like that off. Maybe he’s not a douche bag at all, maybe he’s wizard.


Poor Lucky Me

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...


  1. Mr. G says:

    Victory in a sport and then eating and drinking? That is called “pulling a John Daly.”

Speak Your Mind