Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I’m an honest person who has lived a crime-free life. However, I feel sort of jealous of people who get parole officers. I think it would be comforting and encouraging to have the extra support. I’d like to be looked after and checked up on…even randomly drug tested. It would help keep me on the straight and narrow.
What do you think? Should I approach my local law enforcement headquarters? I’d be willing to pay a fee for the service.
Signed,
A Good Girl…For Now
Your idea is very interesting. Instead of having a controlling boyfriend you could just hire some one to boss you around and do weird things with your pee? I like it! And in these tough economic times I think your local law enforcement agency would welcome the extra income.
I guess there might be a problem with limited man power or resources if parole officers are used in the private sector. There are a lot of people out of work right now, maybe you could tap into the great segment of unemployed Americans. You’d have to be careful not to accidentally hire a psycho killer but with a strict screening process, you could find yourself a great amateur parole officer. You could even design the uniform as scary or casual as you’d like. You could hire a sexy parole officer who has to wear a leopard print Speedo at all times and wink at you before telling you what to do. Wait, is that sexy or creepy? Or both?
Either way, I think you are really on to something!
Sincerely,
Dear A Good Girl..For Now,
Poor Lucky Me
