Patriotic Panhandlers – Wednesday November 11th

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Dear Poor Lucky Me

 

On my way into work this morning I walked by two different “Uncle Sam Bums”. Both of these guys were holding signs like the one pictured above. Like the gentleman in the picture, both of these guys were in their 20’s.

 

My question is two-fold. How crazy can you be if you have the capacity to get a costume together to beg? Isn’t the funny-bum shtick the right of older, crazy bums like the guy that says “I won’t lie, I want money for booze”?

 

Yours Truly,
Please Help Me Out

 

Dear Please help Me Out,
I’m so over the guys who say “I won’t lie, I want money for booze” That is like the oldest gag in the book. Instead of giving money to those guys, I yell “Get some fresh material”. I like to give money to street musicians, guys who pretend the Onion is Streetwise, and veterans. It is Veteran’s Day, so maybe they were just reminding people to honor our veterans.

 

I don’t think you have to be crazy to be a street person- it helps but it’s not a requirement. You can just be a drug addict or an alcoholic which wouldn’t necessarily restrict your costume-making-abilities. You have to be savvy to score and if dressing up as Uncle Sam helps, then you’ve gotta go for it.

 

I try not to be judgmental about young homeless people, especially in Chicago. If you are 20 years old and can’t get your resources together to be a homeless guy in California or Florida, you must be in some serious trouble. I mean anyone could be a homeless person in Santa Monica- it’s not like you have to be tough. I’ve threatened to adopt that lifestyle several times. Me and my dog could hitch a ride to Cali and spend our days basking in the sun and eating canned beans. Seems like a pretty sweet deal. But if you’re working the street in Chicago, costume or not, you’re probably deep in the shit.

 


Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me

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Comments

  1. Unkle Sam says:

    The guy in the photo does not appear homeless to my non-round eyes.
    What I see is an ironic busker. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Busking
    He is representing a homeless Uncle Sam coming to grips with the truth about the the National debt. http://www.usdebtclock.org/
    I guess it can be hard to see that which is right before our eyes.
    I hope this helps you Please Help Me Out some more.

    Sincerely,
    Unkle Sam

  2. Poor Lucky Me says:

    Fascinating! Thanks Unkle Sam. I had assumed that the attached photo was an example of the outfit, but not the sign. But your theory makes WAY more sense.

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