Dear Poor Lucky Me,
There is something that is upsetting me and I feel the need to discuss my issue with someone of great wisdom and knowledge such as yourself.
Lately I have been finding that more men are leaving the toilet seat in the down position after use. In other words they raise it AND lower it back when finished with their timely relief.
Now I know that all of us “boys” were taught to do this by our moms, but I am more and more feeling this is a sexist matter. I mean who is to determine good manners? I understand that woman are too precious to soil their dainty little fingers after all of those expensive manicures with toilet seat urine. I get that.
And I get that many men take untold pleasure in playing games like submarine and hit the bulls eye while excusing themselves. We all know that those dangerous bathroom games do lead to bad aim here and there which in turn leaves a residue on the seat which is unpleasant should one wish to sit.
And it is even worse when it is a public toilet.
BUT all common sense aside: why should a man be required to lift the seat then return it to its original position “in case” a woman should enter and need to sit? I mean why shouldn’t the seat stay up? In china they don’t have toilets and do very well without a seat by using a public trough.
I need help in understanding this sexist, wrong, and unfair in a reverse misogynistic way. Good manners no longer apply in our society, so why should we keep bowing to woman when all they do is use us for sex anyway.
Please help me Poor Lucky Me…..you are all I have.
Faithfully,
Thank you.
Are you sure the women in your life only use you for sex? Because I suspect that’s more wishful thinking that fact. But that’s neither here nor there. I strongly disagree that good manners no longer apply. In fact, in our world of Snookies and Pat Robertsons, good manners are more important than ever. I understand that you might not frequently encounter people who know which fork is the salad fork and that one should not talk with one’s mouth full, but that works in your favor. Good manners stand out now and make you more interesting to the opposite sex.
I know what you thinking: No one ever got laid because they kept their elbows off the table. But it’s more subtle than that. The truth is people with good manners are more likable. They’re more likely not to insult you (to your face), spit food at you, close a door in your face, or fart in the elevator. They’ll probably bring a gift or alcohol to your parties. They may pick up the check at a restaurant once in a while. If you really examine your social circle I bet you’ll find that the fancy-pantsed are more welcomed in your home.
Besides, once you say ________ is dead, you’ve given up hope. And nothing spins me into despair quicker than thinking anyone has given up hope.
Now, to specifically address the toilet seat. There is a very good reason why men must put the lid down. When you live in a frat house or a bachelor pad it might not be that important. But let’s say you lose your job and have to move back in with your parents. Let’s say your loving mother cooks you meatballs every Sunday and does your laundry- not because she feels sorry for you that you’ve lost your job- but because she loves you. Let’s say you think it’s not your responsibility to put the lid down on the toilet seat, so one night after 8 beers you pee, leave the seat up, and go back to watching Cinemax in the den. Then you hear the sweet pitter patter of your mom’s socked feet coming down the hall on the way to the bathroom. Before you realize what’s happening, you hear a yelp and a splash. You jump up from your chair to find your mother floating in the toilet bowl with a soaking wet night gown and a broken hip. All because you were too much of a lazy asshole to put the seat down for the woman who carried you in her womb for 9 months.
Would that make you happy? No, I didn’t think so. Some social niceties are in place for a reason, so suck it up and put the seat down.
Sincerely,
Dear Thank You,
Poor Lucky Me
rofl. Wow. Really?
I look at it this way, most of the time someone (at least in this house) is going to use it they will be sitting. So if one man needs to lift it to pee, then why should the rest of us have to deal with that? And it’s not sexist. A man uses the toilet seat as well.
Happy ICLW
Your answer is priceless!!! I love it!
” I know what you thinking: No one ever got laid because they kept their elbows off the table.” Classic! I can’t stop laughing. This has to be one of my favorite PLM exchanges of all time.