Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I’ve been watching this show on HGTV called “International House Hunters”. Basically it’s rich people trying to find kick ass houses in awesome places like Spain and Costa Rica.
I think my bitterness about living in the freezing cold Midwest is starting to overwhelm me, because I’ve started to have this disturbing urge. I’ve been secretly writing the new home owners hate mail. I haven’t been successful at finding any addresses yet, because I can tell that’s like jumping off the crazy cliff.
Or is it? I like in a 600 square foot apartment.
Signed,
Cramped and Bitter
Dear Cramped and Bitter,
Let’s assume that the people on your “International House Hunters” show are just actors being used by desperate real estate agents to drum up interest for homes that are probably unsellable due to their proximity to a howler monkey refuge. They never’t show you the howler moneys. Or the enraged parrot colonies that attack you when you’re sipping a glass of Pinot Grigio on your lanai.
Also, good for you for realizing that your instinct to send hate mail is something you should seek help for. I wish I had realized that before Sandra Bullock started a lawsuit against me for my self published book “Why Sandra Bullock Is Totally Overrated: She’s Not Even Cute”
Sincerely,
I’m sorry to be the one to break this to you- but you can’t believe everything you see on TV. Do you really think all the kids on Jersey Shore are like that in real life? I happen to know for a fact (through the rumor mill) that The Situation is working on his PHD from M.I.T. in robotics and is using this experience to show his review panel that he has acting skills in addition to his prowess in math and science. Nobody is that hateable in real life.
Poor Lucky Me
