5 Common Misconceptions About Valentines Day
1. Valentines Day is a holiday made up by greeting card companies and chocolate manufacturers to encourage consumerism. Actually it was invented by Communists to infiltrate greeting cards and use them in an elaborate system to deliver secrets to Moscow.
2. St. Valentine is an actual person to whom the day is dedicated. In fact, Valentine was the name of Charlie Chaplin’s dog- who could do back flips and bark out the words “I Love You”. He stole the hearts of the nation, and thus was honored by Valentines Day.
3. The red and pink hearts of Valentines Day represent love. Actually they represent the success of 20th century organ transplants.
4. The chubby little baby with wings is Cupid. How I wish that were true. That baby is actually a representation of the apocalypse, as seen by his threatening stance and weapons cache.
5. Valentines Day is for lovers. In fact Valentines Day started out as a way to honor the hatred between feuding families of the wild west.
