Dear Poor Lucky Me,
I’ve recently discovered that there is a robust market for religious themed novelty items such as Cross-Shaped Swirl Pops, Bible Tins with cross-shaped mints, and “Walking With Jesus” Gummy Treat Packs .
What do you think Jesus Would Do with these products? Do you think he should get a cut, or at least a wholesale discount?
Signed,
Praying we meet our sales numbers
Dear Praying,
What a great discovery, whether you’re seriously religious or just into mocking religious people. It’s hard to say what Jesus would do, although I certainly consider myself in a position to answer with authority.
He would keep the novelty religious items’ production in a country with fair labor practices, which he wouldn’t have to justify to greedy shareholders because he would keep the company private. I think Jesus would be at least as annoyed as I am that publicly traded companies have to show profits every quarter. It’s just not realistic! He’d probably rather run the place as a not-for-profit, but if there were profits I think he’d try to build revolutionary social programs.
Really though, I think if Jesus could he’d come back and bust up the company that makes this stuff. He’s go all crazy like he did on the money changers asses. He’d also probably smote Pat Robinson, while he was down here.
Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me
[...] Leave a bottle of scented oils or aromatherapy perfume, like lavender or citrus, on her desk. Novelty Items Arouse Curiosity I’ve recently discovered that there is a robust market for religious themed novelty items [...]