LIST- Monday March 29th


10 Things I Think I Invented Despite What The Internet Says


1. The John Daly (Iced Tea, Lemonade, Vodka)


2. The Dictionary. Mine is smaller than the one you buy in a book store and contains more swear words, but I came up with the idea ages ago.


3. HDTV. Seriously, ask my mom. I totally invented that.


4. Peanut Butter, Bacon, Mayo and Tomato Sandwiches. It’s NOT a BLT.


5. That move that Kanye did where you get all wasted and stagger onto the stage and grab the mic out of someone else’s hand and start blathering about something. I do that all the time.


6. Tricked out hub caps. I did my own with a glue gun and sequins. I don’t know who’s idea it was to make them chrome but it’s pretty sweet.


7. Horse diapers.


8. Solar power. I guess technically I didn’t invent the sun. But it was my idea to use the sun to do stuff.


9. The iPhone. Ever since I got an iPod I wold use it on the EL to deter homeless people and religious types from approaching me. I would just hold it up to my head and talk into it AS IF it was a phone. People would either believe it was a phone and leave me alone or think I was insane and leave me alone. Obviously, I was pretty shocked when Apple stole my idea.


10. The movie Avatar. I’d been talking forever about making a movie with kick ass special effects and 3D and a story line so boring and contrived that it allows stupid people to feel like they got the symbolism and smart people to scoff at the plot-line but still feel like their liberal political ideals had been addressed.


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  1. Bluestreak says:

    You really are something special. Thanks for all of the above.

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