Nostalgic for Solotasking – Wednesday March 17th

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Dear Poor Lucky Me,

 

I have a gripe about multitasking: I am not good at it, and everyone else seems to be. If I am driving and trying to carry a conversation, I slow down like an Apple 2e trying to print and play Oregon Trail at the same time. Talking on the cell phone and walking can even be a problem.

 

If I am on the phone and I walk by something even partially cool, like say, a 70s Camero, I am speechless for at least 10 seconds.

 

Do I need more mental RAM? Do other people have this terrible disability? How do they cope?

 

Signed,
Outdated Hardware

 


Dear Outdated,

 

Multitasking has made it impossible to enjoy life’s simple joys. I used to happily sit, or read, or bath. These things didn’t need to be combined. Once again, The Man has convinced us poor suckers that multi-tasking is an important skill. It’s not your fault, I fell for it too.

 

I sat in the bath tub the other day, talking loudly to my neighbor through the vent, watching television on my phone, training my dog to open and close doors, learning a new language using the Rosetta Stone, and I couldn’t help but wonder where this was all taking me. I will never achieve an enlightened detachment from the physical world at this point.

 

Additionally, I just moved into a small apartment with a shockingly large bath tub. It’s so comfortable because I have really short legs and usually I secretly feel like I’m moments away from drowning in the tub.

 

Other people cope with their crappy multitasking ability by doing several things badly at the same time. Do not feel pressured to follow the American descent into indifference and bad service. Besides, a 70′s Camero is much more than partially cool, and deserves your full attention.

 

Sincerely,
Poor Lucky Me

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