Monthly Horoscopes April 2010

Aries (March 21-April 19): Your prison boyfriend really appreciates your letters, even if he doesn’t say as much.


Taurus (April 20-May 20): After a new hair cut, a co-worker will say “Nice haircut”. You will wonder if the comment was sincere or sarcastic.


Gemini (May 21-June 21): The batteries in your remote controller will die. You will be too lazy to go across the street to Walgreens and replace them for a week. Instead, you will read a book.


Cancer (June 22-July 22): You will secretly go to Al’s Italian Beef after telling everyone you’re on a diet. Once there, you will win a free lunch for your office. You will agonize about what to do.


Leo (July 23-August 22): The boss will give you several assignments that you will complete diligently and accurately. The boss will never ask for the completed work, and when you get fed up and put it on his desk, he won’t look at it. You will want revenge but decide to let it go. Don’t worry, it’s not you, it’s him.


Virgo (August 23-September 22): Your gambling addict friend will ask you for $200 for “a sure thing”. The thing is not sure and you know it, but you’re afraid to say no. Beat him to the punch by borrowing $200 before he asks.


Libra (September 23-October 23): The Jimmy Johns near your house serves old meat. That’s why you’re always the only person in there.


Scorpio (October 24-November 21): The music on your iPod is terrible.


Sagittarius (November 22-December 21): Your soon-to-be mother-in-law is going to offer you diction classes for a wedding gift. She likes you a lot, she just hates your Minnesota accent. Accept the classes with a smile- they are fully refundable for cash.


Capricorn (December 22-January 19): You will finally wash your sheets, but the dryer you choose will be broken. Try dryer number 5 instead.


Aquarius (January 20-February 18): You will forget to lock the backroom door at work and your new assistant will walk in on you while you’re on the toilet reading a Twilight book.


Pisces (February 19-March 20): You are just overtired. Take a nap.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...

Speak Your Mind