Judging a Book by the Stupid Crap it Says- Tuesday April 13th



Today I read an article about Mike Huckabee’s views on gay marriage. I’m pretty sure it was from the liberal media- it was an AP article. The things he was quoted as saying made me scream in fury. Now I can use Mike Huckabees face as aversion therapy the next time I go on a diet. If I want a hot dog, I just look at a picture of Huckabee and I’ll vomit with rage. Does a Snickers bar look good? Not after seeing a picture of Huckabee.


For instance:
Huckabee told the interviewer that not every group’s interests deserve to be accommodated, if their lifestyle is outside of what he called “the ideal.”


“That would be like saying, well there’s there are a lot of people who like to use drugs so let’s go ahead and accommodate those who want to use drugs. There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them. There are people who believe in polygamy, should we accommodate them?” he said, according to a transcript of the interview.


First of all, if Mike Huckabee is now in charge of defining an ideal lifestyle, I might as well end it all now. Or at least move to another country. Second of all, asshole, people who use drugs are already accommodated with a prescription. And people who use illegal drugs should be accommodated because the war of drugs is a complete failure. Third of of, no one “believes in incest” they are just mentally ill. To compare incest and homosexuality is to identify yourself as a complete idiot. In my opinion.


More insights from the insightful Huckabee:
On gay marriage, he said in an interview, “Marriage has historically never meant anything other than a man and a woman. It has never meant two men, two women, a man and his pet, or a man and a whole herd of pets.”


Again, homosexuality and bestiality are not the same, unless you are a bigoted redneck. Also, frankly, I couldn’t care less if a dude wants to marry his dog. How exactly does that threaten my marriage, or my morality? I don’t think if some one marries his dog, his herd of cows, or his long-time same sex partner that invalidates my heterosexual marriage. But then again, I’m not a god damn idiot.


I can’t help but think that people who are adamantly opposed to same-sex couples marrying are just closeted self-loathing homosexuals. Like they are so afraid if Homosexuality becomes more acceptable they’ll fall right into a bathhouse and start blowing dudes like mad because that’s really what they wanted to do all along. The only thing that keeps them “straight” is their wife and the good ole Bible. Except for the times they go to the Airport in Minneapolis. Or when a gay prostitute offers them a little meth and a relaxing massage. I’m pretty secure in my sexuality, so I don’t care what other people do sexually or who they marry.


I do care when people try and impose their pseudo-religious beliefs on anyone they find threatening to their neatly boxed in life. I also care when idiot politicians use hot button issues to try and drum up support from fringe groups. And I do believe that the people who agree with Huckabee are the vocal fringe. I have to believe that, at least until I have enough money to buy a private island.

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  1. Bluestreak says:

    What a jackass. Thank you PLM for showcasing this idiot. Can I buy land on your island?

    • Poor Lucky Me says:

      Eligible residents will be granted free leases to real estate. I have a good feeling you’ll be eligible and granted one of the better properties…

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