Memorial Service

Planning Tommy’s memorial service is overwhelming. It feels like it’s going to be the end of everything. Even now, when Tom Sr and I go outside I can’t believe how many people are just enjoying the sunny weather and laughing. The activities I want to do have sufficiently freaked out everyone I’ve been honest with. So Tom Sr and I are going to see a professional on Monday. I think we’re both relieved to get a trusted professional involved in our grief management. This is not for amateurs.


I’m worried that people won’t come to the service, or that they’ll be shocked that I’m not doing something religious, or they’ll be bored because I’m letting a lot of people speak. It’s a lot to ask for one broken hearted little family. I’ll post the info on Monday.


But when the service is over then what happens? Tom and I know we have to try and go back to work. We have to try and focus on our jobs and other people’s problems. We’ll have to be apart. I don’t know if I can do it. I just don’t know if I can be away from the man who kept me alive throughout this, the man who’s ears and toes and hands were replicated perfectly on my sweet baby.


But we have to try, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.

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  1. Larisa says:

    he will be with you in many more wonderful ways than you could ever imagine. my big (baby) brother scott watches over all of us siblings, still 40 years later. despite laying him to rest, and the finality of that, he will be with you and every member, including those to come, of your family now and always. dont for a second feel you have to ‘get over it’ or ‘life goes on’… he will always be with you, just in a different, more special way.

  2. Alison says:

    The memorial service will not be the end. Tommy Jr.’s memories will live on through you and Tom Sr. and you’ll continue to share the joy that he brought to your lives in the short time you had with him. Thinking of you often, my friend.

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