If you are left home alone for a weekend while your husband has a a men’s golf outing you can be pretty sure you’re going to watch some stupid television and sad movies. You can stay up too late gaping at infomercials and then lure the dog to sleep in late the next day by allowing her access to not just the bed, but the pillows and covers as well. A good dog will take advantage of this offer and stay in bed until 10 or 10:30 am. A good dog will also break the normal rules and get up on the couch while you’re watching “In Her Shoes”, but even the best dog might get a little spook if later you watch “The Time Travelers Wife” and have racking sobbing crying fits. That’s ok, it was worth it.
An aside: I didn’t think I would like “The Time Traveler’s Wife” because I loved the book so much. I’m so glad I gave the movie a chance, because I also loved it. The story is just so clever and heart-wrenching and beautiful. The grief and loss and faith that your loved one will continue to appear was so touching. I really was crying like a crazy person at the end of the movie, but luckily when it was over it switched to an informercial Hosted by Mister T that immediately jerked me out of my sadness. The tears on my face dried as I watched Mister T and his house-wife-type-in-a-skirt-suit-sidekick make fried chicken and french fries with absolutely NO OIL!
A friend from college found me on facebook and after reading PLM, wrote me to say that he too had lost a child. I feels good to still have people reach out to me. He said something that really resonated. I asked him when they felt ready to try again, and in his answer he said (I’m paraphrasing I think): “Waiting longer doesn’t make it less scary”.
I felt like a bell went off in my head when I read that. It makes so much sense. I’ll get my body in order, I’ll address my brain as well as I can, then Tom Sr and I will just have to hold hands and jump over the cliff together. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I think I’m starting to think about starting to try to have another baby. Someday I mean.
In more interesting news- I’m going back to the psychic tomorrow. I’ll give you all a full report afterward.
Anything that helps relax you. For me, it was massages every other week. My insurance covered most of that, too.
What a great way of putting it, “Waiting longer doesn’t make it less scarey.” Wish I’d come up with that.There’s another saying…. something about “Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery means going forward IN SPITE of fear!”
As for jealousy….. There’s a poem kind of like what you mentioned in your post….something like this… If you get on a plane going to Hawaii, you’ve packed for Hawaii and you have expectations. You’re excited because you’ve done the research and you’ve been looking forward to all the stops there you plan to make.
when you land, you find out that you’ve landed in Holland. Now Holland still has sites to see and enjoyment to offer, BUT it’s not Hawaii…. not where you were packed to go, or planning to go. You know nothing about this new place. It’s just disappointment and sadness. Eventually, you see past the disappointment, but imagine how hard it would be to relate to all the tourists writing emails or phoning about their joy in partaking of all those stops you had planned to make when YOU went to Holland… it’s hard to take. Doesn’t make you jealous or bitter. Makes you human.