Top Ten Most Awkwardly Slutty Halloween Costumes Seen by the Poor Lucky Me Team:
1. Slutty Bee
Bees are not sexy. They’re not even friendly. They are threatening and terrifying. They chase you around and sting you when you’re just trying to have a good time at the park.
2. Slutty Pirate
Pirates are really too dirty to be considered slutty. Plus, eye patches aren’t really a turn on, they’re more of a medical or warfaring necessity. That’s just my opinion though.
3. Slutty Teddy Bear
I disapprove of all child related sexiness. A teddy bear should be sweet, snuggly, or comforting, but never sexy.
4. General Slutty Person
This costume is for people who don’t feel like coming up with a costume, but don’t want to miss out on an opportunity to ho it out on Halloween.
5. Slutty Clown
Everything is wrong with a sexy clown. Face paint: not sexy. Child related thing: not sexy. Giant clown shoes: not sexy. Etc.
6. Slutty Angel
What’s the point of being a slutty angel? It makes you look like you’re unclear on the concept of angels. Slutty devil is a much better costume, because devils are probably way more uninhibited.
7. Slutty Prison Guard
Like clowns and pirates, there is really nothing sexually alluring about a prison guard. People aren’t like “Ooooo ummmm it’s so hot how you deliver food trays to people in solitary confinement. Ooooo yea work that big set of keys…”
8. Slutty Baby
Horrifying.
9. Slutty Gold Digger
Disrespectful to chaste gold diggers.
10. Slutty Construction Worker
Getting turned on by a slutty construction worker may indicate that you are a repressed homosexual.
Just as funny as the first 100 times I read it!
Thank you! :0)