Except for people who hate pregnant ladies. Walking down the street these days I usually get one of three reactions: I get big smiles (aw, a pregnant lady), or narrowed eyes (“way to continue the earth’s overpopulation”) or nervous darting glances (“am I going to have to boil water and tear up sheets for this broad?”). It’s like I’m a walking science experiment wrapped in a political statement covered in anti-feminist goo. It’s rare to have some one just talk to you like you’re a regular human which I guess is fitting since I haven’t felt like a regular human since about July.
There might be some jealousy involved when it comes to pregnant-lady-haters. My hair, as I’ve mentioned, is magnificent. Also, I don’t have to plan outfits since I only have three articles of clothing that still adequately cover my body. So…whatever is clean is matching in my book. While I’m still expected to go places (despite my loud protests) no one expects me to participate. At restaurants I’m permitted to even close my eyes after dinner until it’s time to leave. I can’t do that while driving though, even in heavy traffic. It’s a slippery slope you know, and a habit I might not be able to drop post-pregnancy. These are small concessions compared to the huge sacrifices a pregnant lady makes, but jealousy has no eyes for the other side.
In fact I am one of those people who doesn’t really believe that anyone has ever done this before. I know… I see other pregnant ladies, and of course I was the result of my own mother’s pregnancy, but a few “facts” about the proliferation of human life are unconvincing when I’m trying to plant my butt on the toilet without free-falling those last four inches. Incidentally- Tom really did offer to get me one of those toilet seat extenders that the elderly use, which really shows what a sweet man he is. I, of course, screamed HELL NO, which really shows what a pain in the ass I am. But I can’t relinquish all of my pride…I might need it again someday. Tom just read this over my shoulder and says that he stands by the toilet seat extender.
That’s all for now. I’ll try and write more now that Baby’s arrive date is coming at us like a freight train. I know my days of languishing in front of the computer are coming to an end!
“…jealousy has no eyes for the other side,” did you make that up? Another good one! Did you miss me? I missed you! I added your due date/c-sec. to my phone and work calendars/alarms…so I can properly thought-stalk y’all that morning. Sooooooooo excited for you!!!!