Just Thinking- Thursday June 14th

I think it would be really sad if I had a family member or a friend who joined a cult.  But if a family member or a friend did join a cult, I would be able to empathize.

I’d prefer that they join one of the nicer cults, not a scary murderous one or a child-bride one or a suicide one.  But don’t they have cults where you just hang out and make homemade cheese and sing songs?  I bet that no one would be allowed to say “When it’s time to sing, why don’t you just pretend to mouth the words instead of actually singing” like my 8th grade music teacher said to me.  It’d probably be like a group of people who react like my daughter does when I sing: by gazing and smiling at me as if my voice was both soothing and movingly beautiful.

It’d be kind of comforting to not always have to come up with meal ideas.  Cult gruel might get old after a while but at least its predictable.  Besides, I’m sure it wouldn’t be my job to cook it up. There’d be very few opportunities to get stuck in traffic if my cult was in the woods somewhere.  I don’t like camping or being cold or going to the bathroom outside but if I was a well respected memeber maybe I could get everyone to build a latrine.  I mean if the Leader said it was ok.  I wonder if woods-cults have iPhones and iPads now, or if the members are too busy cultivating land and chanting to bother with new technology.  I really love my iPhone so I wouldn’t want to give it up.  But I would if it meant I never had to shop for clothes again or dye my hair or stop biting my cuticles.

Besides, I’d rather a relative or a friend be in a cult then become a really pushy gluten-free person.  I just couldn’t live with that bullshit.

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