I’m Tired – Monday October 8th

I’m tired all the time.  I thought it would get better when Hazel started sleeping more.  I thought it would get better when I lost weight.  I thought it wold get better when it wasn’t so hot out.

I try and remember if there was a time when I had a lot of energy.  I’m afraid that this is just my personality, like I’m just a low energy person.  If I was born 10,000 years ago and all my cave-mates were like “Run!  Here comes a saber tooth tiger!” I’d probably be like “I’m in the middle of a nap though”.  Then I’d be eaten. Or, maybe I’d start a gene pool that evolves into a sub-sect of humans who have a “play dead” response instead of  a “fight or flight” response when faced with stress.

I do enjoy exercising, but I prefer it be bookended by naps or couch-sitting.

Obviously this tiredness doesn’t contribute well to being a working mom.  It’s not the working or the momming that suffers as much as the chores.  Clean and dirty laundry piles up around the house.  Hazel chases dog-hair tumble weeds and every night I have to untangle the sheets and blankets to get into bed.

I don’t mean to imply that before I had a baby I was very neat and organized.  I just feel more embarrassed by it now, and concerned about the safety risks it can create (pennies on the floor, wires snaking everywhere, constantly worrying that I’m using the last clean bottle).  I wish I was one of those people who liked being upright.   Then at least i could run the vacuum.

I’d like to write more on this topic, but I’m tuckered out.  I’d better go make a coffee and sweeten it with a Five Hour Energy drink.