I think I’m having my period. I was supposed to be 39 weeks pregnant but instead I’m having my period. And I’m not handling it well at all. I’m starting to have this feeling that I’m watching myself all the time. It’s interesting actually, because I’ve been acting pretty insane. <\/p>\n
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For instance, yesterday I was watching television and that Duggar <\/p>\n <\/p>\n My attempts at appearing normal are getting pretty pathetic as well. While socializing I keep catching myself staring off into middle distance with a forlorn expression on my face. I try to snap out of it before anymore sees me. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n I know that this week will be difficult. Up until now I was just supposed to be pregnant, after Wednesday I was supposed to be at home with a baby in my arms. The wake that a child’s death causes grows exponentially…until (I hope) it begins to recede. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I think I’m having my period. I was supposed to be 39 weeks pregnant but instead I’m having my period. And I’m not handling it well at all. I’m starting to have this feeling that I’m watching myself all the time. It’s interesting actually, because I’ve been acting pretty insane. For instance, yesterday I … Continue reading “Backslide”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2133","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2133","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2133"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2133\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3497,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2133\/revisions\/3497"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2133"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2133"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2133"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}bitch<\/del> lady came on the screen with her 19th baby. Her 19th baby who was delivered alive at 6months. Naturally I broke into racking sobs and considered cutting myself for the 12th time that day. I am frustratingly afraid of blood, so I just let the tears drip off my cheeks and nose and marveled that I was even still capable of breathing. Especially because it feels like such a waste of time and effort. It’s never ending- you finish a breath- you have to take another. It’s exhausting. <\/p>\n