Alright. The due date has come and gone. The trip to the cemetery was terribly sad but cathartic too. It was a good reminder that we’re not paralyzed by this grief. We are still capable of loving each other and hoping for our future and surrounded by friends and family who love us. And even though I try not to think of Tommy Jr in that cemetery, it was nice to sit with him and talk to him for a little while. It was comforting to see him surrounded by other babies, at least they all have each other to play with. <\/p>\n
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\nCoincidentally, Tommy is buried very close to my grandparents. My Grama especially was such a wonderful women and so darling with children, I like knowing she’s close by. It’s weird to grapple with not believing that the little white casket has anything to do with where my boy is, and then be comforted knowing that he’s close to my grandparents. I guess it’s good to realize that my brain and heart will make exceptions to help me get through this. <\/p>\n
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Saturday we move. I’ve focused a lot of my panicking on that- not in a productive, I’ve-got-everything-boxed-up-way. More in an I’ll-lie-on-the-couch-and-eat-chocolate-pretzels-and-bite-my-nails-while-staring-at-all-my-crap way. I’m looking forward to be in a new place, but wistful about leaving. All this change is hard. New apartment, Tom’s in law school, work is different…When I look back at old pictures of myself I wonder who that person is. I worry all the time about Tom and my relationship changing because I’m so god damn self-centered now. I’m like an attention black hole. <\/p>\n
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On an unrelated note- I watched the move Up In The Air with George Clooney. I thought it was terribly lame. I don’t understand why anyone liked that movie…did I miss something?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Alright. The due date has come and gone. The trip to the cemetery was terribly sad but cathartic too. It was a good reminder that we’re not paralyzed by this grief. We are still capable of loving each other and hoping for our future and surrounded by friends and family who love us. And even … Continue reading “What Comes Next”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2142","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2142","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2142"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2142\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3495,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2142\/revisions\/3495"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2142"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2142"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2142"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}