I continue to defy the dictatorship of my refrigerator. “Fresh Produce” screams when I chuck a baggie of liquor store salami in the drawer. I am arrested and accused of subversion when I fill the egg compartment with condiments and cheese husks. I do not show up to testify- instead I send a letter through my lawyer that I don’t respect the jurisdiction of their court since I don’t recognize the arbitrary and oppressive government of the refrigerator. My ancestors fought wars to protect me against such organizational impositions. Crisper indeed! I reserve the right to fill that drawer with beers and limes. <\/p>\n
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In a bold political move I abstain from cleaning the refrigerator. It is helpless to retaliate as its innards fill with the noxious fumes of the birth of a micro-universe. I come home every night and smile smugly as I hear the refrigerator battle the pulsing, expanding colony of organisms. The post-food multiplies quickly and successive generations are stronger, wilier, more manipulative. What used to be the milk founds a fire-and-brimestone-style church and converts the Produce Drawer. I have to surrender my apartment to the on-going war between good and evil; dictator and guerilla rebels; refrigerator and mold (and exploded yogurt containers and rotten eggs, etc). When some one on the elevator jokes about the “Smelly 9th Floor” I laugh nervously and implicate the couple down the hall with an eye roll. <\/p>\n
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The war itself becomes oppressive. What began as an assertion of my rights- both as a human and an appliance user- now drags on as both sides recreate a culture of war. <\/p>\n
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In the end I buy a spray bottle of Kaboom- it is amazing! I decimated the post-food universe and regained control of the refrigerator in less than an hour. In 50 minutes the epic battle was just a memory- a mystery to the other residents of the 9th floor. But at that moment, the crumbs at the bottom of the toaster began to organize…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I continue to defy the dictatorship of my refrigerator. “Fresh Produce” screams when I chuck a baggie of liquor store salami in the drawer. I am arrested and accused of subversion when I fill the egg compartment with condiments and cheese husks. I do not show up to testify- instead I send a letter through … Continue reading “Just Thinking- Tuesday December 7th”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2281","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2281"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3459,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2281\/revisions\/3459"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2281"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2281"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2281"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}