Dear Poor Lucky Me,<\/p>\n
Please shed some light on Krispy Kreme doughnuts.\u00a0 They’re made by white supremacists right?\u00a0 They contain crack cocaine right?\u00a0 When I walk past the little table that holds up these Satan cakes, my mind goes blank.\u00a0 I forget about everything I used to think was important- my family, my job, my kick ass body- and turn into a blubbering mess.\u00a0 I like to buy a dozen chocolate glazed and eat two while I stand in line.\u00a0 The people in my office think they are sold by the 10’s because I’ve never made it in with a full dozen!<\/p>\n
Please, tell me what the deal is.\u00a0 Also, is there a rehab for Krispy Kreme addiction?<\/p>\n
Signed,<\/p>\n
Need Help<\/p>\n
Dear Need Help,<\/strong><\/p>\n The Poor Lucky Me research team looked into the matter with great detail.\u00a0 It turns out that there is no evidence of a white supremacist conspiracy or the addition of crack cocaine.\u00a0 The recipe remains a secret, but our independent lab results did not contain any noticeable addictive substances.\u00a0 We did discover, however, that they sell a Whole Wheat Glazed doughnut!\u00a0 Whole Wheat means good-for-you, and should be included to complete a healthy diet.\u00a0 We also concluded that Krispy Kremes are best served after about 20 seconds in the microwave.<\/strong><\/p>\n Maybe there’s nothing wrong with you indulging your doughnut passion.\u00a0 As long as you’re not barfing them up after you eat them, or throwing people into traffic to get them, who cares if you have a few too many glazed on a Friday morning?\u00a0 Sometimes when you obsess about exercising your willpower, your vice ends up getting the best of you.\u00a0 Once you just let yourself go, the object of desire becomes a little less shiny and desirable. <\/strong><\/p>\n Now, don’t discount the possibility of bringing a class action law suit against Krispy Kreme.\u00a0 The doughnut industry has deep pockets, and this could be your free ticket to riches!\u00a0 But you could also bring the empire down and be stuck with Dunkin Donuts, and I think their coffee sucks. <\/strong><\/p>\n Sincerely,<\/strong><\/p>\n Poor Lucky Me<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Poor Lucky Me, Please shed some light on Krispy Kreme doughnuts.\u00a0 They’re made by white supremacists right?\u00a0 They contain crack cocaine right?\u00a0 When I walk past the little table that holds up these Satan cakes, my mind goes blank.\u00a0 I forget about everything I used to think was important- my family, my job, my … Continue reading “Wednesday, April 8th”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-230","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/230","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=230"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/230\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3822,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/230\/revisions\/3822"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=230"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=230"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=230"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}