While Don* and I were in Paris we bought a set of coasters from a guy on the street- you know one of those little tourist craparia stands? The are black and white nudey pictures from the ’20’s. I thought they were quaint and charming. The girls are in very old fashion lingerie and they’re kind of chubby and some have hairy armpits. It didn’t occur to me that they were sexual, just kitschy.<\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
Back at home the suitcases got kicked around the apartment for a shocking amount of time. Eventually they just became fixtures in the living room- like really impractical pieces of furniture that invited a banged up shin during your middle of the night pee. Somehow they got unpacked. Because I have a pretty several allergy to hard work I can’t say for sure if I helped do a lot of the actual unpacking. I may have supervised, or napped, or hired someone to do it, I’m not sure. The point is we finally found the Parisian nudey coasters.<\/p>\n
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Don looked nervous as I cut them out of the plastic cover. “You sure we should use those?” he asked.<\/p>\n
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I laughed. “Yes dear, we should use the coasters.”<\/p>\n
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“Well they’ll get all ruined.” He pleaded sincerely. I smiled and arranged them in a little stack on the coffee table. I went to the bathroom and when I returned all six coasters were spread out on the table, side by side. I sat next to Don and we watched TV for a while. Absentmindedly, I restacked the coasters. Don’s eyes remained fixed on the TV. “Want a glass of water?” I asked.<\/p>\n
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“Yes please” he smiles. <\/p>\n
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<\/p>\n
When I returned from the kitchen the coasters were lined up again across the table. I put the glass down on one. It was the hairy arm-pit girl. “Oh,” said Don “I really like that one. Are you sure you want to put that glass over her?”<\/p>\n
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“You like this hairy armpit girl?” I asked doubtfully.<\/p>\n
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“Oh yes.” Don the gave me a three minute lecture on what she had going for her and how it’s probably not the best idea to get that coaster wet and risk damaging it. So I moved my glass to the chubby gal sitting in front of the Eiffel Tower. “No no!” Don gasped, “not that one either”. I got a longer explanation about what a wonderful picture that was. Then he moved to the next picture. He pointed out each girl’s attributes in loving detail until my eyes glazed over. When he finished, he looked up at me.<\/p>\n
“Now do you understand the problem?” He asked.<\/p>\n
“Yes,” I replied. “We’ve got pictures of naked ladies on our coffee table.”<\/p>\n
“Exactly.”<\/p>\n
*Names have been changed to protect the innocent-ish.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
While Don* and I were in Paris we bought a set of coasters from a guy on the street- you know one of those little tourist craparia stands? The are black and white nudey pictures from the ’20’s. I thought they were quaint and charming. The girls are in very old fashion lingerie and they’re … Continue reading “Dangerous Boobs – Friday January 7th”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2307","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2307"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3451,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2307\/revisions\/3451"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2307"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2307"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2307"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}