There we go, all fresh and new. It’s a strangely huge relief to look at a different layout when I read my own blog. I feel like I took a huge leap forward, like I shed that last bit of smelly snake skin.<\/p>\n
Since I haven’t been writing for the past week, I read like I was smoking crack. I also felt inspired after watching a friend performed in Mortified<\/a>: a show that invites people to tell their life stories through their childhood journals, art, and music. I have an impressive collection of diaries hidden in my apartment so I dragged them out and started reading. I was sure that they’d be so charming and naive and cute. Instead I thought they were mostly depressing. I mean I haven’t made it through the whole stack yet…but there is a distinct pattern to my private writing. Taking it out in the open on this blog has been a strange experience. I still squirm a little when people bring it up in public although I’m delighted that they read it. I get embarrassed by my lurching emotions, but am grateful that people relate to it and are supportive. In many ways my on-line life feels much more genuine than my actual life (I certainly not the first chubby depressive to feel that way). <\/p>\n Real life requires so many emotional compromises, so many tight lipped smiles and hallow laughs. I can’t always spill everything here, I don’t have the guts. But this forum let’s me be unapologetically self-indulgent, and somehow that brings a lot of people closer to me. <\/p>\n My blog facelift makes me feel new and hopeful. It helps me feel a little more comfortable in my own skin. It’s been over a year since I lost my child. A new little life is forming in my belly, which gets rounder from my anxiety eating than the progression of my pregnancy. I still have to add my biography and Monday I’ll publish a weekly advice question. This is more like trying on a new outfit. As soon as I get it home, I’ll cut the tags off and parade around my apartment in front of my dog. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" There we go, all fresh and new. It’s a strangely huge relief to look at a different layout when I read my own blog. I feel like I took a huge leap forward, like I shed that last bit of smelly snake skin. Since I haven’t been writing for the past week, I read like … Continue reading “That’s Much Better- Thursday June 2nd”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2525","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2525","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2525"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2525\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3401,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2525\/revisions\/3401"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2525"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2525"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2525"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}