I don’t have very much to write these days. I feel like I’m not feeling any of the right feelings, which I know is the wrong way to feel. I wake up tired, perk up slightly during my mid-morning panic, rage a little during my pre-lunch blood sugar dip, scarf down food I wish was healthier, combat post lunch sleepiness with another round of panic, have a short bout of hysterical laughter and or joy, with the day was over, get depressed when it is, go home, eat again, lay on the couch wishing I could go to sleep, go to bed and stare at the ceiling in a panic. <\/p>\n
Basically, I’ve been doing a lot of feeling and not a lot of constructive thinking. Except when I’m really tired, then I remember things, which tends to make me sad. I also spend a decent amount of time annoyed that I’m sober, and horrified that I’m annoyed that I’m sober. <\/p>\n
Last pregnancy it was much easier for me to socialize with my friends. This time I feel safer hidden in my apartment. I don’t want to come out until I’m holding a baby. <\/p>\n
Today I have a first trimester screening. Two weeks from now I get my cervical cerclage. I’m starting to feel the tickle of fear about the procedure: everything is getting very real. I’m still not scared that something will go wrong, but that I won’t be able to handle it when everything goes right.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I don’t have very much to write these days. I feel like I’m not feeling any of the right feelings, which I know is the wrong way to feel. I wake up tired, perk up slightly during my mid-morning panic, rage a little during my pre-lunch blood sugar dip, scarf down food I wish was … Continue reading “Current State- Thursday June 23rd”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2557"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2557\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2559,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2557\/revisions\/2559"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}