Frustratingly, I’m back to being shrink-wraped. The pain and aches of the cerclage keeps me submerged self-pity. “No one understands how this feels” I keep thinking, which makes me feel very naive and whiney and silly. Especially because I do have several women in my life who know exactly what I’m going through! My brain and my heart conspire against me though, and I spent long stretches of the day hiding my physical and mental pain. <\/p>\n
Laughing hurts my cervix. I was previously unaware that my vaginal was involved in any way with my laughter, but maybe I don’t really understand my anatomy. Being on pelvic rest means avoiding lifting anything over five pounds, but I’m pretty sure my purse weighs about 16 pounds. My dog weights 52 pounds and she’s always dragging me from one pee smell to the next. Every activity in every day is weighted with a constant ribbon of anxiety. “I’m not doing this right, I’m going to f*ck this up”. Then I think that anxiety is going to damage my baby. <\/p>\n
I knew I would worry throughout this pregnancy, I just didn’t know I’d experience such impatience and disgust with my own worry.<\/p>\n
Socializing is difficult when you are consumed by self-pity. I also think it must be boring for people to hear me find new and interesting ways to talk about how tired I am. It’s also difficult to be nice to people when they offer me stupid or insensitive advice. I try my hardest to be nice though, since I am the reigning queen of stupid and thoughtless advice. So I lie on my couch, watch TV, read magazines and books, and torture Tom with isolation. He never complains, but I feel tortured by my own presence so I have to assume he feels challenged as well.<\/p>\n
On the bright side…INSERT CHEERFUL OBSERVATION HERE <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Frustratingly, I’m back to being shrink-wraped. The pain and aches of the cerclage keeps me submerged self-pity. “No one understands how this feels” I keep thinking, which makes me feel very naive and whiney and silly. Especially because I do have several women in my life who know exactly what I’m going through! My brain … Continue reading “Oh yea, this sucks. Monday July 11th”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2582","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2582","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2582"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2582\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3386,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2582\/revisions\/3386"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2582"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2582"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2582"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}