I have my 16 week doctor’s appointment tomorrow. In anticipation of the appointment, I’m certain that something has gone terribly wrong. With a resigned detachment, I feel sure that the baby has died, or that the soreness in my legs is a life-threatening infection, or that there never was a baby in there and I’m just growing a huge tumor in my belly. <\/p>\n
I think: “Well the baby has probably died, so maybe we should extend our lease after all.” Is that healthy detachment or delusional detachment?<\/p>\n
Everything is probably fine, except it’s probably not.<\/p>\n
Every night before I fall asleep I beg my baby to come to me in a dream and tell me everything is ok. Instead I dream about conflicts at work, or being a bike messenger and getting a flat tire and having no idea how to change it. I think I would feel more hopeful if I dreamed about this little baby. <\/p>\n
I wonder what it’s like to be a normal baby-maker.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I have my 16 week doctor’s appointment tomorrow. In anticipation of the appointment, I’m certain that something has gone terribly wrong. With a resigned detachment, I feel sure that the baby has died, or that the soreness in my legs is a life-threatening infection, or that there never was a baby in there and I’m … Continue reading “Calm Panic – Wednesday July 20th”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[58,56],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2596","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-panic","category-sad-stuff"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2596","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2596"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2596\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3381,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2596\/revisions\/3381"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2596"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2596"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2596"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}