Today is the day that I stop bitching about how people don’t tell you how awful pregnancy can be. \u00a0Because today is the day that I have a nugget of information that when shared, could cause spontenous vomiting. \u00a0That is why people don’t tell you how awful pregnancy can be: they don’t know if you’re about to sit down to eat a lovely dinner when your cell phone dings and you check your text messages and are slapped in the face with a reality that you didn’t ever want to know about. \u00a0The pregnant person thinks they’re just relaying information- they have forgotten that their body’s metamorphosis is as horrifying as it is beautiful. \u00a0 The horrifying things are not just disturbing but haunting; since each pregnancy is different just because you escape the first one with minimal shocking side effects doesn’t mean you’re free and clear.<\/p>\n
And I’m not just talking about the stuff you think no one talks about. \u00a0I’m not talking about discharge, for instance. \u00a0I’m not talking about sausage feet or hemorrhoids. I’m not talking about flatulence or those mini-barfs or peeing your pants all the time.<\/p>\n
I’m talking about serious shit you don’t want to know about.<\/p>\n
Even the people who really really really love me don’t want to know. \u00a0Tom tolerates my endless chatter about the horrors with a smile, but I think he’s now blind and deaf with love for me and Baby Girl. \u00a0Normal people would run screaming or tear at the hair and scream “Why god? \u00a0Whyyyyyyyyy???”. \u00a0And if this post has peaked your curiosity and you want to know, think about that movie Candyman. \u00a0Remember how curious those people were about what would happen when they said “Candyman” into the mirror three times? \u00a0Well… knowing about the pregnancy horrors might not result in your death by a hook-handed man, but you will wish it did.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Today is the day that I stop bitching about how people don’t tell you how awful pregnancy can be. \u00a0Because today is the day that I have a nugget of information that when shared, could cause spontenous vomiting. \u00a0That is why people don’t tell you how awful pregnancy can be: they don’t know if you’re … Continue reading “Today is The Day – Tuesday November 29th”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2752","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2752","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2752"}],"version-history":[{"count":5,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2752\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3330,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2752\/revisions\/3330"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2752"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2752"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2752"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}