{"id":317,"date":"2009-05-01T14:19:14","date_gmt":"2009-05-01T21:19:14","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/?p=317"},"modified":"2025-05-23T17:33:52","modified_gmt":"2025-05-23T22:33:52","slug":"friday-may-1st","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/friday-may-1st\/","title":{"rendered":"Friday, May 1st"},"content":{"rendered":"

An Open Letter the the Swine Flu<\/strong><\/p>\n

Dear Swine Flu,<\/p>\n

You think you’re so tough don’t you.\u00a0 You’ve got everyone in a panic- not taking the subway, wearing those nurse masks, staying home from school…it must be quite a thrill for you.\u00a0 But I’m not falling for it.<\/p>\n

Two months ago I got the regular flu.\u00a0 It wasn’t the kind of thing where you have a cold but tell your boss its the flu so they’ll have more sympathy; this was the Influenza.\u00a0 I sweated and groaned on my couch for three days.\u00a0 I cursed the heavens and asked forgiveness.\u00a0 With my last ounce strength I cracked open my window and called for my mama.\u00a0 She never came, but when my fever broke I knew I was going to make it out alive.<\/p>\n

When I peeled my pajamas off my scummy body I felt like I was the champion of the world.\u00a0 Influenza and I had a vicious cage match and I won.\u00a0 He had to crawl out of my apartment bloodied and bruised and searching for a weaker victim.\u00a0 I laughed like a villain as the flu crawled out my front door and into the hallway, hiding under the door of the nice Indian guy who lives across the hall.<\/p>\n

I bet you didn’t count of that, did you Swine Flu?\u00a0 You didn’t count on people like me, who kicked your cousin’s ass and sent him packing.\u00a0 I travelled to hell and back with nary a sunburn.\u00a0 I’m not afraid of you just because you’ve got a fancy name and travelled here from Mexico.\u00a0 I’ve caught scarier things in Mexico than a damn flu.<\/p>\n

So don’t count on me washing my hands or covering my mouth when I cough.\u00a0 Don’t expect me to rush to the doctor if my nose runs; I’ll wipe it on my sleeve and keep right on going.\u00a0 I might stay home from work a few days, but that’s unrelated to you (even if I invoke your name to do so).\u00a0 I hope you enjoy your reign of terror while it lasts, because humans are going to have the last laugh.<\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/p>\n

Poor Lucky Me<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

An Open Letter the the Swine Flu Dear Swine Flu, You think you’re so tough don’t you.\u00a0 You’ve got everyone in a panic- not taking the subway, wearing those nurse masks, staying home from school…it must be quite a thrill for you.\u00a0 But I’m not falling for it. Two months ago I got the regular … Continue reading “Friday, May 1st”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-317","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/317","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=317"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/317\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3806,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/317\/revisions\/3806"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=317"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=317"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=317"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}