![\"businessman\"](\"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/businessman.jpg\" "\\"businessman\\"")
<\/p>\n<\/p>\n
Dear Poor Lucky Me,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nI am single and looking and I thought you could help.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nI have a fine personality, nice waist and good teeth. After college I worked at a Christmas tree farm where I was promoted to manager. Because of my status, the girls were after me, but I was too involved in my work to take notice. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nDue to the economy the farm closed and I took a lesser paying job as a banana salesman. My boss recognized my talents and promoted me to “head banana” and I flourished. Again, I became a “chick magnet” and again I ignored the women for my job. <\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nThe banana poison scare hit and again I was on the street working as a consultant to a brassier manufacturer and now I am looking for a nice woman with a ski jump nose and small ear lobes.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nWhat advice do you have for me on how to “score” with the chicks using my work experience as an “entre” (French for “get in”)?<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nSigned,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
\nF. Myron Cheesbourough<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Well you have a lot going for you. You have had an extensive and bizarre career path. It sounds like you are ready to enter the next phase of your life: using a tool to lure women into have sex with you. The tool you have chosen is your job- it’s a fine route to cruise down. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Banana salesman is a great icebreaker. Bananas are of course titillating for their shape, while being repulsive due to their disgusting smell and vomitous taste. In fact, I would eat a mushroom omelet (blech blech) before I would sit next to some one eating a banana. In fact, once I was on a plane and the woman two seats over started eating a banana and I called the stewardess over and begged to be reseated. I was moved eventually, but had to recreate some very convincing retching noises to finally cement the deal. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Anyway, the point is just be yourself. Well be yourself but try to imply that you are very wealthy and have a big dong. The ladies seem to like when men make jokes and sexual innuendos about their penis, especially if they are really drunk. <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Also, don’t be afraid to lurch into potential mates and assure them that you “work in the industry” before you paw at their boobs.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Sincerely, Dear Poor Lucky Me, I am single and looking and I thought you could help. I have a fine personality, nice waist and good teeth. After college I worked at a Christmas tree farm where I was promoted to manager. Because of my status, the girls were after me, but I was too … Continue reading “Bra Consultant Seeks Love and Sexy Times”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/483","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=483"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/483\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3784,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/483\/revisions\/3784"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=483"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=483"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=483"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nDear Myron,<\/p>\n
\nPoor Lucky Me<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"