{"id":526,"date":"2009-06-23T09:41:03","date_gmt":"2009-06-23T16:41:03","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/?p=526"},"modified":"2025-05-23T17:33:51","modified_gmt":"2025-05-23T22:33:51","slug":"my-persuit-of-higher-education-tuesday-june-23","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/my-persuit-of-higher-education-tuesday-june-23\/","title":{"rendered":"My Persuit of Higher Education &#8211; Tuesday June 23"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.flickr.com\/photos\/eugenialyakhova\/2632725093\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignleft size-full wp-image-605\" title=\"hippy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/hippy.jpg\" alt=\"hippy\" width=\"400\" height=\"266\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/hippy.jpg 500w, http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2009\/06\/hippy-300x199.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 400px) 85vw, 400px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;m trying to get my Master&#8217;s Degree in the social implications of Whole Foods.\u00a0 The interaction between the employees and patrons and their collective relationship to the products present a fascinating study in Douchebagology.  <\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\nThe employees are dreaded, tattooed hippies who openly resent the people shopping there and are hostile if asked for a plastic bag.\u00a0 The average customer is an upscale, annoying yuppie with children in tow and\/or talking loudly on a cell phone.\u00a0 <\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\nHow do these two groups co-exist in the same over-priced food store?  Going there is like watching that video where the lion takes care of the gazelle baby, except the baby needs gazelle milk and you just know eventually the lion is going to get a hankering for baby gazelle meat.  <\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\nYou cannot shop at Whole Foods if you&#8217;re in a hurry.\u00a0 Even if the aisles weren&#8217;t jammed with high-end baby carriages and recently tummy-tucked mothers, it&#8217;s nearly impossible to find anything. \u00a0 I&#8217;m pretty sure the store layout was designed by highly intelligent apes who were taught how to use drafting software.\u00a0 They did a decent job considering they aren&#8217;t human, but we&#8217;ve come to expect a little more when shopping for $3 tomatoes.\u00a0 <\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\nThe aisle design couldn&#8217;t make less sense, especially considering how many people who work there are probably stoned.\u00a0 I always expect to find a lost, scared hippie having a freak out in the frozen food aisle because they can&#8217;t find their way back to the coffee section.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\nHopefully my adviser will accept my dissertation idea, because I&#8217;ve already logged in hundreds of hours observing the animals in their natural habitat.  I had a spy camera made out of a hemp necklace that i wear around the store while I stare at people ordering cheese.  <\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\nI think people need to know that the problem is not them, it&#8217;s Whole Foods.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I&#8217;m trying to get my Master&#8217;s Degree in the social implications of Whole Foods.\u00a0 The interaction between the employees and patrons and their collective relationship to the products present a fascinating study in Douchebagology. &nbsp; The employees are dreaded, tattooed hippies who openly resent the people shopping there and are hostile if asked for a &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/my-persuit-of-higher-education-tuesday-june-23\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;My Persuit of Higher Education &#8211; Tuesday June 23&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-526","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=526"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":607,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/526\/revisions\/607"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=526"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=526"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=526"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}