Dear Poor Lucky Me,
\nI read about a girl who taught her dog to lift his leg when he pooped, so she didn’t have to pick it up. It’s an appealing concept on a not-having-to-handle-hot-poop level, but outrageous on a societal level. What do you think?<\/p>\n
With Love,
\nDismounting From My High Horse<\/p>\n
Dear Dismounting,<\/strong><\/p>\n No, no no no no no.\u00a0 Please no.\u00a0 Please.\u00a0 You really must view picking up your dog’s poop as part of your bonding process.\u00a0 When all the snow melted in Chicago a couple of weeks ago (don’t worry, now we have new snow) and I got a glimpse of all the sidewalk bombs that people thought they weren’t responsible for because the snow was hiding them, I had a complete nervous breakdown.\u00a0 In fact there is still a policeman stationed inside the 7-11 near my house, because I stripped down to my undies and burst in there sobbing and babbling about soggy poos.\u00a0 I was just trying to buy some baggies but I guess the owner got all freaked out and called the cops. <\/strong><\/p>\n You don’t know rock bottom until you’re sitting in jail in old underpants and your mother won’t come get you because she assumes the phone calls are a joke.\u00a0 Luckily the personal banker at Chase was still desperate to get me to open a savings account, so he came and got me.\u00a0 Thank god for these tough economic times, and I don’t even believe in god. <\/strong><\/p>\n Be cool, pick up your dog’s poo.<\/strong><\/p>\n Sincerely,<\/strong><\/p>\n Poor Lucky Me<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Poor Lucky Me, I read about a girl who taught her dog to lift his leg when he pooped, so she didn’t have to pick it up. It’s an appealing concept on a not-having-to-handle-hot-poop level, but outrageous on a societal level. What do you think? With Love, Dismounting From My High Horse Dear Dismounting, … Continue reading “Friday, February 27th”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[17,18,19],"class_list":["post-53","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-dog-poo","tag-nervous-breakdown","tag-underpants"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=53"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3850,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/53\/revisions\/3850"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=53"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=53"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=53"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}