Dear Poor Lucky Me,<\/p>\n
I recently was watching my nightly fill of E! and Access Hollywood<\/span>, etc. Some actor, I think it was Nicholas Cage<\/span> or Hugh Jackman<\/span> or something, was featured. The brilliant investigative reporter was saying how this actor had to go on a special diet where he eats lots and lots because he had to gain like 30lbs for his next role as a fat person.<\/p>\n I’m writing for your advice on this subject. I always wanted to be a Hollywood Celebrity<\/span>, and now I think I see my opening. I happen to already be about 30lbs overweight, (according to my mom, anyway), and I’d be happy to stay on a special diet of donuts and ice cream<\/span> (what I eat most days anyway) in order to star in a movie. I guess the only thing missing is where do I go (besides Hollywood<\/span>, of course!) and who do I call??<\/p>\n Signed in drool,<\/p>\n Headed to Krispy Kreme<\/span> to Celebrate my New Career<\/p>\n <\/p>\n \nDear Krispy Kreme,<\/strong><\/p>\n Traditionally good looking people are so boring with their hot bodies and clean hair.\u00a0 Anyone can do that.\u00a0 Not just anyone, however, can really reach for the stars by becoming a fat slob.\u00a0 I also think that the American standard of beauty is bound to change as obesity and teen pregnancy continue to become the norm. I’m also seeing a lot of nasty tattoos on internet porn, so look into that.\u00a0 Porn is a good trend indicator. Unfortunately, I don’t know a ton about how to go about becoming a Hollywood star.\u00a0 It doesn’t appear that reality TV offers much of a chance to become anything but a drunken ho.\u00a0 Some people I spoke to while doing my research\u00a0 said you should go to Hollywood and “sleep your way to the top” but I’m not sure that will work considering your physical<\/strong> aspirations. <\/strong><\/p>\n Why don’t you start by going on local auditions?\u00a0 Also take an acting class, that’ll give you access to contacts and like-minded people.\u00a0 Whenever you decide you really want to go after something- you have to broadcast your wishes to everyone you come in contact with.\u00a0 That goes for dieting, sobriety, and career goals. <\/strong><\/p>\n Sincerely,<\/strong><\/p>\n Poor Lucky Me<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Dear Poor Lucky Me, I recently was watching my nightly fill of E! and Access Hollywood, etc. Some actor, I think it was Nicholas Cage or Hugh Jackman or something, was featured. The brilliant investigative reporter was saying how this actor had to go on a special diet where he eats lots and lots because … Continue reading “Tuesday, March 3rd”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[34,32,33],"class_list":["post-68","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-goals","tag-hollywood","tag-obesity"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=68"}],"version-history":[{"count":12,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3848,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/68\/revisions\/3848"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=68"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=68"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=68"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\n<\/strong><\/p>\n