{"id":726,"date":"2009-07-08T08:43:38","date_gmt":"2009-07-08T15:43:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/?p=726"},"modified":"2025-05-23T17:33:50","modified_gmt":"2025-05-23T22:33:50","slug":"hopping-on-the-diet-bandwagon-wednesday-july-8","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/hopping-on-the-diet-bandwagon-wednesday-july-8\/","title":{"rendered":"Hopping on the Diet Bandwagon – Wednesday July 8"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"26429163_5812cd6845\"<\/a>
\nDear Poor Lucky Me,<\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n

I’ve decided to go on a diet.\u00a0 I don’t really need to lose too much weight, but I’d like to have something I can use to relate to people.\u00a0 I’m in sales and I think it will help my approachability.<\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n

In your experience, what are some great diets I can explore?\u00a0 Do you think it’s worth it to have some fat pictures doctored up to show people?<\/p>\n

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Signed,
\nDieting My Way To Riches<\/p>\n

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<\/p>\n

Dear Dieting,<\/p>\n

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\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Your sales techniques is creatively disturbing.\u00a0 I don’t approve of what you’re planning, but am intrigued by your deviance.\u00a0 What a creep you must be, huh?\u00a0 But, luckily for you, I’ve got the dieting secret of the century.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

The diet is called The Revenge Diet or The Hate Diet (depending on if you’re in the hating stage or have moved on to active revenge).\u00a0 You first choose your target- an ex, a parent, a co-worker, the captain of the football team, etc.\u00a0 Then you think about how much you hate them\/want revenge.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

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\nSpend about two days doing this.\u00a0 Write lists if that helps you and see if you can take a couple of personal days from work.\u00a0 You don’t want your professional duties distracting you from stirring up the hateful energy you’ll need to burn calories!<\/p>\n

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\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Now, you should be eager for revenge by the end of two days.\u00a0 Take that feeling, squeeze it into a little ball and imagine putting it into your stomach.\u00a0 Assuming you are an American with a high school education and access to the Internet, you should already know what foods are healthy: Vegetables, fruits, lean protein, drink a lot of water, try to avoid very processed or sugary foods.\u00a0 <\/p>\n

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\nImagine yourself eating like a peasant or sustenance farmer.\u00a0 The first few days will be invigorating, and you probably won’t even need your revenge ball.\u00a0 But at some point you’ll want some pizza or a meatball sub, or ice cream cake.\u00a0 Take a few bites of anything that you want, but then focus on the revenge ball that’s been waiting patiently in your stomach.\u00a0 Concentrate on growing it until it fills your stomach and makes you full.\u00a0 You can’t eat anymore because you’re already satiated with revenge!\u00a0 It’s delicious and nutritious. <\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

I once lost 35 pounds after a break up using this method.\u00a0 When I bumped into my ex and they saw me looking fit and sexy, the revenge ball got smaller and smaller until it disappeared.\u00a0 I’ve had to recall it a few times since then, but it gets easy the next few times around. <\/p>\n

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\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

As I typed the last few words of the above paragraph, I started to feel guilty that I’m giving you my wonderful diet plan to use for nefarious purposes.\u00a0 On second thought, I realized that your future clients could really benefit from this as well.\u00a0 So good luck, you scumbag!<\/p>\n

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\n<\/strong><\/p>\n

Sincerely,<\/strong><\/p>\n

Poor Lucky Me<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Poor Lucky Me,   I’ve decided to go on a diet.\u00a0 I don’t really need to lose too much weight, but I’d like to have something I can use to relate to people.\u00a0 I’m in sales and I think it will help my approachability.   In your experience, what are some great diets I … Continue reading “Hopping on the Diet Bandwagon – Wednesday July 8”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-726","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/726","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=726"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/726\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3756,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/726\/revisions\/3756"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=726"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=726"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=726"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}