{"id":846,"date":"2009-08-04T15:40:50","date_gmt":"2009-08-04T22:40:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/?p=846"},"modified":"2025-05-23T17:33:50","modified_gmt":"2025-05-23T22:33:50","slug":"unfair-excrement-tuesday-august-4","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/unfair-excrement-tuesday-august-4\/","title":{"rendered":"Unfair Excrement – Tuesday August 4"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"2317446975_9c36174937\"<\/a>
\nDear Poor Lucky Me,<\/p>\n

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I’m not usually a “f*** the police” kind of gal but I’ve got something I want to get to the bottom of:
\nWhy do I have to vigilantly pick up my dog’s poo, but police horses can poo all over the place and no one is walking behind them with a big plastic baggie?<\/p>\n

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I mean, is that an injustice or what?\u00a0 If I teach my dog to just poo in the street can we call it even?<\/p>\n

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Signed,<\/p>\n

Not Fair<\/p>\n

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Dear Not Fair,<\/p>\n

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I started researching the answer to your question by calling the Chicago Police Department.\u00a0 I thought I could ask the question and some helpful and knowledgeable soul on the other line would answer, then we’d hang up and both go about our day.\u00a0 What actually happened was I asked the question, and the disgruntled and impatient woman on the other end started asking me personal questions. Like this:<\/p>\n

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Nameaddressgenderracewhatisyourcomplaintma’amwouldyouliketofileanofficialcomplaintwhereexaclydidyouseethe<\/p>\n

excrementandwhatisyournameandaddress?<\/p>\n

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So I hung up the phone.\u00a0 Why did she need my name and address to tell me what they do with the police horse poo?\u00a0 I got too freaked out; I guess it was left over trauma from my hippie days.<\/p>\n

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Next, I went to the Internet.\u00a0 One must be very very careful when searching for poo-related questions.\u00a0 There are many things one does not want to know about poo.\u00a0 Especially about the combination of poo plus sex.\u00a0 It is called scat porn. That is one of things I learned.\u00a0 And will never forget.<\/p>\n

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The best answer I could find (after applying “safe search” to my search engine”) is that horse poo is quickly broken down because all they eat his grain and hay.\u00a0 Dog poo takes much longer to decompose because they are omnivores.\u00a0 That made me wonder if vegetarians are allowed to poo in the street, but I didn’t have the guts to look it up on the Internet.<\/p>\n

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Sincerely,<\/p>\n

Poor Lucky Me<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Dear Poor Lucky Me,   I’m not usually a “f*** the police” kind of gal but I’ve got something I want to get to the bottom of: Why do I have to vigilantly pick up my dog’s poo, but police horses can poo all over the place and no one is walking behind them with … Continue reading “Unfair Excrement – Tuesday August 4”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-846","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/846","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=846"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/846\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3736,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/846\/revisions\/3736"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=846"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=846"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.poorluckyme.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=846"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}