My sudden and violent entrance into adulthood has made me realize how fragile many of our relationships are. I have a few friendships that feel effortless. It’s harder to find time to spend together now that we’re older, or live apart, but when I’m with these people I feel like I’m my whole self. That’s how I feel with my husband too- like I wasn’t even really myself until I met him.
I have other relationships that require so much dancing, flirting, back-peddling, and careful plotting. It didn’t used to bother me- if the person was fun or funny or dear I took pride in being able to have a relationship with challenge. But these days, in these grown-up days, I don’t think I have it in me anymore. I just to have normal relationships with normal people. So I think I’ll work on that for a while.
Anyway, who cares about all that? The real reason I’m writing today is to announce good news! Well the pills are WORKING! I mean I’m still crying all the time and really sad in the afternoons but I have no appetite and have therefor finally lost a little weight! Huzzah! Sure sure, I’ve been exercising so hard that I’ve been offered a towel for my sweat run-off more than once at the gym. That probably has a lot to do with it too. The point is, this little accomplishment (I’m being modest, actually I think it’s a HUGE accomplishment) has made me very pleased with myself. And that’s something to write about.