List – Monday October 26th

Ten movies that I feel would make me more sophisticated/ cool if I could watch. This list includes films that are either too violent for my delicate sensibilities, too grown up and therefore suspect of being boring, or too scary for an insomniac such as myself:

1. Reservoir Dogs / Inglorious Bastards. If I could watch one, I could watch the other. Unfortunately I cannot watch either.

2. Amores Perros. Several people have called warning me to never see this movie. In addition to showing hurt or dead dogs, the IMDB page rates it “R” for violence and gore.

3. The Reader. It looks really well acted, but a little on the snoozey side. I mean, the mature side.

4. Milk. I love Sean Penn and am very interested in the topic…but it looks like so much talking. They should have cut in a few scenes of Vin Diesel driving around San Francisco to spice this film up.

5. The Wrestler. I can’t even look at photographs of Mickey Rourke, let alone watch a whole movie about him getting smashed up.

6. No Country for Old Men. Just thinking about that air compressing machine will give me nightmares for a week. It’s like when I found out what drawing and quartering meant.

7. Last Tango in Paris. The nudity is intriguing, but there is a lot of slow talking in between. I tried, no dice.

8. Braveheart. I saw that scene where they all got arrows shot in their butts. There’s no way it’s going to get less violent after that.

9. Requiem for a Dream. I have enough trouble getting through episodes of Intervention.

10. The Lord of the Rings Trilogy. Sorry, but there is too much war and monsters and man love in these movies to keep me interested. And don’t get me wrong, my stance on man-love is pro…but not after hours and hours of monster warfare.