Everyday I walk past the Wrigley mansion and think “Goddamnit! Why don’t I have a solarium with big flowering jungle trees and a few pairs of finches flying around who are specially trained to poop in a bird litter box?” I would never read The Enquirer or People Magazine on the extra-wide tufted chairs or put a television against the thick rounded 19th century window glass. I wouldn’t even say swear words so help preserve the balance of the room’s energy. Not the “F” word anyway.
Sometimes I see an advertisement for Anthony Bourdain’s “No Reservations” and I think “Goddamnit! Why didn’t I write a best selling novel about working in a restaurant and become the host of my own show where I travel around the world eating exotic dishes and maintaining my rail thin figure?” I don’t like exotic food but I could just have the cameramen cut away right before I was to take a bite. Figuring out how to overcome this hurdle proves that I deserve it.
In the mornings I listen to the This American Life and I think “Goddamnit! Why didn’t I create an award winning radio program for NPR where I got to interview all kinds of personalities and authors and become sort of a quasi-celebrity and have all these cool author/artist friends” I would channel my jealousy of the really interesting people into passionate interviews. I would not use words like “meta” or “banal” unless I was being sarcastic.
At night, in the few minutes of quiet after Hazel has gone to bed but before she’s woken up wondering where the hell everybody is, I read a book. I think “Godamnit. I could write a book. Well maybe not a whole book but surely I could write a few short stories. I could easily write an essay.”
But last night, I finally had an Idea. At long last, this Idea is not a quasi-autobiographical trip through the follies of my young adulthood, or a thinly veiled memoir about my time at boarding school. This is an actual IDEA.
So now what? Now do I really have to just start writing? Here’s a Hazel picture to look at while you think about what I should do….
An idea! Do something with it! Maybe a tiny bit each day?